Sunday, May 13, 2012

MMT: The Next Morning

I'm an idiot. It is the next morning, there are still many people out on the mountain, and I am already thinking of what I need to do differently to be successful the next time. Last night I said there will be no next time. But if I could just figure out what to eat, it would all be different. There has to be a solution out there that I just haven't found yet. Or, maybe I just need to go with what got me through two 100s, plan on vomiting and/or passing out, and get on with it. The problem is, the passing out and vomiting, if done in that order, is potentially dangerous, especially if I am alone at the time. I don't want to put myself in that situation, which is ultimately why I dropped out yesterday. I have taken myself to that edge before, and I knew that is where I was heading yesterday. If I am going to run any more of these things, I have to be willing to take a DNF, rather than put myself in a dangerous situation. Preferably, however, I'll figure something out that works and my odds of success will increase.

These 100s take a pretty big investment from me: planning time, training time, money, physical and psychological effort. I'd like to have a better chance of success. Could I just buck up and be persistent and stick with it until I finish? Maybe. But when this could result in a really dangerous situation, it isn't worth it to me at this point in my life. Am I just trying to justify my DNF? Maybe, but I don't think so. Being smart and properly evaluating what is going on is important. Some people are so driven that they don't do this and it ends badly for them. I don't want to do this. I'm enjoying too much what I've got right now that I don't want to jeopardize it.

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